I still have well over a month before the school year starts but I'm already getting anxious about subbing again. This will be my third year. I keep thinking back to all the horrible experiences I had in the past two years. Carrots thrown, fights started, unsupportive staff, down right awful kids, and it all makes me feel like I'm a bad teacher.
In teacher school, we were taught about the importance of building relationships and being consistent. They never prepared us for subbing. My first year, I was a much gentler teacher. Last year, my patience went to shit. I feel like I"m downright mean and that's no way to teach. Makes me feel sick just thinking about it.
I applied for two dreams jobs at a dream school. The posting closed a couple of weeks ago so I have given up hope on an interview. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong other than not being someone they already know. Almost all of my classmates have jobs and they have far less experience than I do. You'd think 7 years of teaching and creating curriculum would get you somewhere.
My ego has taken a huge hit. Hopefully this last month or so of summer will re-energize me and i'll be ready to face the classroom. Thankfully I don't have to do that tomorrow.
I'm so sorry to hear that. You couldn't be more right about how hard it is to be a sub. It'a a tough gig because you don't know the kids, and they try to take advantage of it. The best ones stick to the lesson as much as they can, and plow through -- or change it completely when it gets out of hand. Frankly, when the kids say "S/he was mean," I am not-so-secretly pleased, because it usually means the sub really tried to push and teach the kids something. Rarely has a substitute been cruel by nature.
ReplyDeleteI try to make it as easy on my substitutes as possible (it's not too hard because I teach higher level kids; they're high maintenance, but are high self-discipline). If they have an email address, and I know when I'm going to be gone, I email the plans to them; I always have a seating chart and a short list of students who will help; I email my classes, too, and tell them how things should go, and what will happen if they don't. When I see a sub who has an iffy reputation, that's when I find a video project or serious seatwork time.
I'm sorry about the interview, too. I won't ever know if the people I passed over (and there were a lot; it's awful out there in the humanities now) were the perfect fit. I will say this, though: an excellent substitute for our department is on our shortlist.
I wish you the best this upcoming year.